After The Fall
by I Killed Juliet
Summary: There are some good things about not remembering a thing about who you were. For instance, no bad memories, no enemies to your knowledge , and best of all you can't remember what an awful person you had been.
1. So That Happened

_This is what happens when you are a student trying to finish earning your Masters Degree and instead of the essay you need to finish, this comes to your head. So you think that as soon as you get this out of your mind you can go back to being the productive and good student. Let's see how that goes. This is kind of like Samantha Who? In which the title character wakes from a coma and has no idea who she is but discovers she's an awful person and starts over. So I thought, what the hell. Why not.  
_

_I don't remember all the minor characters real names, so I made them up because I felt like it. So some people will probably have the wrong name. (the minor not so important people, that is.) So if anyone remembers the real names to say, the twin maids or anyone's driver, let me know. I'll change 'em back. Maybe. Thanks.  
_

* * *

_There are some good things about not remembering a thing about who you were. For instance, no bad memories, no enemies (to your knowledge), and best of all you can't remember what an awful person you had been. That's been my favorite about all of this. Well, let's get to it shall we? Allow me to introduce myself:_

_Hello, my name is Hikaru and I'm a horrible person._

_And here we go!_

"His eyes are opening! Quick, honey get the doctor!"

"What are you doing?"

"Get the Doctor, never mind what I'm doing!"

Strange voices and something pulling at his head. A woman he didn't know had a tight grip on his hair. What was going on? Throat. Throat on fire. Throat burning. So many questions and thoughts swirling around in his head.

"I really wish they would use the products I brought you. This is doing nothing for your hair. I told them you had scalp issues, thanks to your father and look at this." The strange woman tugged his hair hard.

"Ow!" He tried to remove her hand from his head but his hand's trapped under the tight cocoon of a blanket

"Sorry, darling!" Sweet release. She removed her hand from his head and played with his pillow.

He looked around. He needed to see if he could remember where he was. White walls, weird machines, tube attached to hand, awful bed. Oh. He was in the hospital.

"Hello, Mr. Hitachiin. Do you remember anything?" A sweet thing in a white coat asked.

He opened his mouth to speak and quickly closed it. He felt a cold flush. He looked at the smiling couple, the person hiding in the corner and the sweet thing in the white coat.

"No." He felt like a deflated balloon.

* * *

"Amnesia. Can you believe it?" The strange woman now known as his mother. She wheeled him along the hall. The hospital refused to let him walk out. Something about a policy. Hikaru. That was his name. He tried to force himself to store this information. Not Haiku. Not Haiku. The chair stopped. He looked up. His mother indicated for him to stand. Home. He was going to wherever it was that he had lived.

"Should we introduce Haruhi?" His father asked. He had to learn their names. Haruhi? What was with H names? He stood to his feet and smiled at the girl in question. She waved.

"Oh. This is Haruhi. She called emergency services after the bus ran you down. She's helping us with the lawsuit. Oh. She's a lawyer. They deal with law things. You can google that." Hikaru nodded.

"Hi." Haruhi said. It was an awkward situation and god knows she was used to those but this was new. She really wanted the floor to suck her under. She glared at it for denying her.

"So. Where are we taking you?" His mother asked. Her smile seems to be plastered to her face. Eternally perky and happy. Hikaru noted that he didn't like that in a person. He needed to write these things down. In vain he looked around for some paper.

"Home, I guess." He shrugged.

"Yes, but where." His mother looped his arm with hers and led him outside. His father and Haruhi followed, lagging slightly behind.

"I don't know. Wherever I live." He couldn't have that many options, right?

"Your apartment in the city? Or?" She waved her free hand furiously.

"I could stay with you."

A stretch limo pulled up. Hikaru once again felt a strange twinge. A limo. A nice fancy limo. The doors were opened for him. He was rich. Apparently. His mother climbed in and he felt himself being tugged along.

His father and a reluctant Haruhi joined.

"Are you sure that's what you want? Maybe you should see the apartment. It's more of a small house. Really." He mother rummaged through her purse and handed him a mirror.

"You may not want to look but it's better if you do." She fluffed his hair.

"Small house?"

He opened the compact and blinked. What was he expecting to look like? Short, unkempt reddish hair. Was he handsome? What are the qualifications for handsome? He pulled at his cheek.

"Are you sure you want to take him there? It hasn't been touched since. . ." His father trailed off. He looked to Haruhi for support. She failed to notice and stared back blankly.

"I'm sure it will be fine." His mother took back her compact.

* * *

_Small house nothing. _Hikaru couldn't move. The apartment, or "small house" was a mess. Pictures were off the walls and broken on the floor. One of the sofa's (yes one of) had been torn and feathers were all over the place.

"I told you two that being roommates wouldn't be easy. You'll get past this tiff. You always do. Kao just needs some time."

Kao? Who? Girlfriend? What kind of name is Kao?

"Kao is?"

"Kao is Kao."

Hikaru stared blankly.

"I don't know who that is."

The smile finally left her face. She took a step back. His father caught her before she fell.

"Your twin, darling."

Oh. Not girlfriend.

"I have twin? Cool. Do we have a secret language? You didn't make us dress the same did you? That sounds awful. People shouldn't do that." Ha! Options. He had opinions. He needed to write this down.

"I need paper." He went on a crusade for some.

"So. What do you think?" His mother recovered from her shock.

"Paper." He found a notebook. He needed a pen. Why didn't anyone keep paper and pens together? What was with that? Dad to the rescue! His father handed him a pen. He opened a page.

"_Twins shouldn't dress the same."_

"I don't know." He looked up from the notebook.

"Well. You shouldn't cook anything. You may kill yourself. I'll have Rosie come over. She'll take care of those things. You don't drive, so don't worry about that. You shouldn't be on your own, so don't leave Rosie's side." His mother bent down and picked up one of the pictures.

"Who? I don't know. Maybe I should just stay with you until I feel comfortable?"

"Are you sure?" She hung the picture back on the wall.

"Is this normal? The fighting with twinsy?" He frowned after saying that. The word tasted sour.

"Only when you are bored or playing with your friends."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh. You like games."

He wrote that down in the notebook.

* * *

His parents house was wow. The only thought he could formulate. You could fit houses inside this. What exactly did his parents do to have all of this? Was he a trust fund kid? Spoiled?

"Dinner will be ready soon. Why don't you change. Come on, Haruhi I have the perfect thing for you."

Hikaru looked down at what he was wearing. Jeans and a nice polo shirt. What was wrong with that?

"Are we going out?"

"No, but you can't wear that to dinner. Rosie will take care of you!" His mother led the struggling Haruhi away.

Rosie had been waiting in his room. She bowed when he entered. Her face set with a permanent frown. As if she had cancer of the puppy. Hikaru wasn't sure if he should hug her or cry with her.

"Are you Rosie?"

"I'm Lorena, sir." She sighed. Her head still bowed to him.

"Oh. I'm Haiku!" He waved. Her expression didn't change.

"Hikaru, sir." She moved gracefully to his wardrobe.

"Hikaru." He wrote that down.

"You don't have to call me sir. If I can call you Lori you can call me Hika-whatever."

She reappeared holding a light blue suit.

"_Lorena_, sir." He took the offering.

"Lorena. You can call me by my name."

She pulled his shirt up over his head. He moved away. What the.

"Are you _undressing_ me?"

"Yes." She moved forward to complete the task. He moved away in circles and jumped on the bed.

"Why? Do I make you dress me?"

"Yes."

"Well. You don't have to anymore! In fact, you can leave now so I can dress myself, thanks!"

She bowed her head even more and left the room.

Pre dinner cocktails.

They had pre dinner cocktails!

He managed to get Haruhi to himself on the balcony. He had some burning questions.

"Did you know, I make Lorena dress me? Who does that?" He hoped this information would surprise her. It didn't.

"I know." She swirled her drink. She had no intention of actually sipping it.

"We're friends, right? You're not some stranger who met me while a bus hit me." He tried to laugh. Wanted to lighten the mood. Sort of.

"We _were_ friends."

That hurt. He sucked in air. He wanted answers. Answers were good.

"Were friends." He repeated.

"I don't think you want this conversation now."

"I really do. I don't know anything about myself. Why did we stop being friends."

She sighed.

"Do you really want the truth?"

He nodded.

"You're a horrible person." She said it without malice, hatred. Just as it was. Honesty. He felt like he was hit by the bus all over again.

"Oh."

He finished his drink.

"Dinner is ready!" His mother snapped her fingers and waved at them to come. Haruhi left without another word.

The table was fit for a king and his court. Hikaru wasn't in the mood for food.

"What kind of person am I, mother?" She slowly lowered her fork.

"What do you mean, darling?"

"What kind of person am I? I am I funny? Mean? Spoiled? Rude?"

"Playful. You were playful."

"What does that mean?"

His mother looked to her husband. He gracefully put his fork on his plate and turned to his son.

"You were a manipulative prick." He smiled. He went back to his food. Haruhi choked on her piece of meat.

"Oh."

"Darling."

"You considered everyone to be your toys and used them as you pleased." His father seemed to be enjoying this.

Hikaru downed his wine. He definitely didn't like himself.

"But that was old you! You can change." His mother offered.

"It would be for the best." His father added.

Haruhi said nothing and tried to disappear.

"Did I hurt people?"

Silence.

He snapped his fingers for more wine. He hated that too.

"Not physically, no. It's been a long day. Perhaps you should go to sleep? You can start on discovering yourself tomorrow."

Sleep sounded good. Tomorrow sounded scary.

After dinner he got lost twice trying to find his room and had to chase Lorena out so he could dress himself in his pajamas. The bed was more than nice. He couldn't sleep.

The morning wasn't as scary as he had anticipated. Breakfast had been laid out for him. His mother was running around wild.

"I'm late for the office, darling! I'll see you later." She kissed the top of his head and ran out the door. He swore he could hear a helicopter. They couldn't be that rich. Could they?

"I should be going too. We can meet for lunch if you like." His father squeezed his shoulder as he walked by.

Lorena cleared the table before he had a chance to eat.

"What do I usually do?"

"You like the city, sir."

"OK. Thanks."

A car had been waiting for him. This was something he may not get used to any time soon.

"Where to, sir?" He should learn the name of his driver. Where to? He didn't even know where he lived.

"The city."

The drive to the city didn't take long. Nor did it take much for him to choose the destination.

"Stop!"

Coffee. He needed coffee. And food. China could hear his stomach grumble. He got out of the limo as fast he could and ran inside.

"Hikaru"

He paused. Haruhi! His ex friend. He moved to her table and sat down before he was asked.

"Haruhi! Hey. Is this place any good?"

He looked around for the wall menu.

"I enjoy it but, what are you doing here?"

"I didn't eat this morning and when I saw this place I had the driver stop. I should have asked his name!" He leaned back in his seat. He failed one of his tasks already.

"It's just. You don't normally eat at places like this unless you're being. . . " she tried to search for the proper word.

"What? Is it too common or something? I bet it was. Old me was spoiled." Haruhi nodded.

"I forgot you don't remember. You like scones." She nodded her head in the direction of the baked goods.

"Thanks. Do you want anything?" She shook her head and stared into her drink.

He ordered, got his scones and glided back to Haruhi. He made a clomp sound as he planted himself.

"So. What's our story. We were friends, I'm awful and it ends?" Haruhi lowered the case she had been researching.

" There were a few incidents that happened. I couldn't forgive you anymore." He popped a piece of scone in his mouth.

"Like what?"

She exhaled deeply.

"You set my clothes on fire."

He coughed. Food in lungs.

"Are you OK?"

He nodded and waved off her concern.

"I set your clothing on fire? That's different. Anything else?"

She paused.

"You roofied me the night before my wedding and put me on a plane to America. To "save" me from a huge mistake. You did the same to my fiance but sent him to Greenland."

Hikaru was no longer hungry.

"What?"

She nodded.

"I wasn't a nice person."

"No."

"I'm not going to be that person anymore. Let's start over. Hi," he held out his hand," My name is Hikaru. It's very, very nice to meet you." Haruhi took his hand.

"Haruhi."

A new start. It felt nice.

"Haruhi! I've been looking for-what's this prick doing here? Oh. Hell. No. Haruhi! Bad!" Hikaru turned and regretted such action. A creature wearing too much makeup, glared fire at him. She moved towards Haruhi and pulled the chair out, pulled her up and walked her to the exit.

He waved goodbye.

Life was awesome.

He finished his coffee.

* * *

_I'm so I'm awesome I went back to this and spent an hour editing all the errors I found, the next day after posting it officially for the public. You're welcome._


	2. My Twinsy Comes Home!

_My grad work is taking a step back because iweb has decided to declare. I accepted but while I'm regrouping here is a second piece to my insanity cake I baked just for you. Thanks for the reviews, ladies, boys, multi sexed and otherwise. Cheers. Here's to you my should be loyal fan(s)._

* * *

_**Memories are a precious thing that we all take for granted. They are the functions of who we are. A precious learning tool. You don't touch the burner on the stove because you know what will happen. You don't like Misha Cline because she'll break your heart for a pair of shoes.**_

_**The scariest thing that I thought that could ever happen to me? I don't know. I can't remember. That's the point.**_

_**I don't know what my favorite color is, the color of my eyes, if I ever dated, had sex, kissed anyone. I don't remember what silk feels like. I don't remember the faces of the people I loved or if I have loved.**_

_**In some ways losing everything has been like rebirth. I died the second I closed my eyes and someone else took over when I opened them. I don't know if that person is any better or worse then the previous Hikaru, but I want to be. I know that.**_

_**Another thing about losing all your memories? It's a pain in the ass when they came back. Like a shot to the brain. Your senses go to shit and the universe explodes your brain.**_

No sooner than when the strange creature he didn't know, but apparently he had left with his hopefully soon to be friend Haruhi, the penny dropped. Or to be more precise, the tray of cups the barista had been struggling from the side of the counter.

Hikaru's eye twitched and his brain exploded. He knocked his food off the table and the scene played in his mind like he was at the theatre.

_The door to the cafe opened and an irate Haruhi pushed her way through the crowd. Her companion had s mirk on his face. Hikaru. Haruhi stood in line. She was prepared._

_"If you don't like the coffee or service go somewhere else. Your complaining is irritating."_

_"Now, now if no one ever complained, how would they learn to improve?" Haruhi ignored how logical that point was._

_"You don't have to be so rude." Her turn to order. She opened her mouth to speak but Hikaru's shoulder cut her off. He pushed her out the way and flashed his credit card. Of course he would pay. She never had a choice. Her anger went up to boiling._

_"Let me see your hands." He glared at the woman behind the register._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"is this really necessary?" Haruhi felt a very powerful headache coming on._

_"I'm just trying to make sure your food is handled by clean hands but if you trust them, fine. But remember I was concerned about your health and safety." He shrugged and placed their usual order._

_A waitress holding a a tray of cups and plates weaved through the customers. She tilted the tray a bit too far and the remains of a drop of coffee landed on Hikaru's collar. He extended his foot out and the woman tripped. The tray flew from her grasp and crashed on the floor._

_"I lose my appetite." Hikaru stepped over the downed waitress and grabbed a ready coffee order on his way on. Haruhi stayed behind to help the poor woman._

"I'm dick."

Hikaru covered his face in shame.

The walk around the city wasn't much better nor did it clear his head or heart of any shame.

"That poor dog." He didn't know if he could loathe himself anymore than he did in this moment.

"I'm going to be a better person!" He declared, both hands in the air. He could do this! Will do this!

"You go for it!"

A few strangers clapped at his announcement and his face grew red with embarrassment. Strangers had his back. That was nice. Really. He needed someone who knew him. Not the current, new and good him, but the awful and evil bad, no longer him, _him. _He would prove it to those people.

There is only one flaw to this plan. He didn't know anyone outside his parents, his depressed servant girl and Haruhi. Phone!

His pocket started to buzz and move. He didn't even know he had a phone.

He answered before he gave it much thought.

"Yes!" If someone was calling him that meant he had friends! Or it was his mother, but friends! He could meet with these people and discuss all the things he could make amends for.

_"Is it true?_"

Hm.

"Is what true? Whom am I speaking to? Is that the proper grammar? You know, that doesn't matter! How are you?"

_Whoever you are. _He thought to himself. He waved happily as he passed strangers. They did not return his perky demeanor and moved past quickly.

"_That you fell on your head and lost all of your memories. I sense that this is true. So. Well played."_

The voice on the other end of the phone was a mix of bitter amusement and anger. Hikaru frowned. This call was not going to end in a friendly manner. Was it a Monday? Monday's are not his day-though he couldn't _really _know_._

_"_Well played? I'm sorry?_"_

He pulled the phone away from his ear and checked the ID of the caller.

_Kaoru._

_Ah! Ah! Twinsy._

"Twinsy!" He may have been just a little bit excited. He's never had a twin before-well waking up anyway. It was all so new and complicated and wonderful.

"_So you know me then."_

"I read your name off of the caller ID. Do we have a secret language? Did we dress the same? Do we share a best friend or have our own? I think we should have our own separate one because than it would be like some weird awkward custody battle. I get Frank on Tuesdays!"

" . . . _wow_."

That did not sound good. Hikaru cleared his throat and tried to regain some kind of adult like composure.

"What happened to our apartment?"

"_You_."

Of course.

"Do we fight a lot?"

_"I called to make sure you weren't lying. It appears you're not. We're done here._"

"Wait-No! Don't hang up!"

And the dial tone.

He never felt so alone.

"I see your intelligence went with those memories too.." A voice so close. Hikaru felt his heart leap up. He spun around and nearly fainted. _He _had been staring back him. He blinked. Then remembered-identical twins!

"I guess this is what it's like to hug yourself!"

He grabbed his double and squeezed tightly. The Other did not return the warm feelings or hug. It was like hugging a tree. Stiff and awkward. Plus the staring.

"Dad asked me to come home. So, you don't remember anything? Let go of me now."

Hikaru did.

"Nope. Where did you go? Why did we fight and why do you have my hair?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I left because you kicked me out of the apartment that had both of our names on the lease after you _fired_ me." Kaoru touched his hair and glared at Hikaru.

"And I do _not_ have your hair!"

This felt. Kind of good. The bickering.

"Is this a thing we do? Hair fights?"

"Maybe."

They walked together in silence. Hikaru tried to a start a topic but the wicked glare on his twinsy's face halted any progress when it come to a new conversation.

After a few minutes it became akin to torture.

"Are we telepathic?"

Kaoru stopped waking. Gave him a very, " you did _not_ just ask that," stare and continued walking.

Hikaru frowned.

No secret language, no telepathy? What was the point of being a twin then!

He sulked after his very boring and plain twinsy.


End file.
